Hogar Sagrado Corazón, Montero, Bolivia (Part 3)

It is not enough to put your heart and soul into something.
The really important things take much more than that.
-Leigh Standly

Escaping through customs we were greeted at the Viru Viru International Airport in Santa Cruz, Bolivia by the waiting arms of M and the comforting sight of Madre Rosario. We then made our way from Santa Cruz to Montero, about a 60-minute drive north along "Highway" 7 in the Hogar’s pickup.

Madre Rosario is the lead Madre at Hogar Sagrado Corazón. She is from Bolivia and is currently serving as the Hogar’s Director for her third consecutive four year term. She has a great smile, a loving heart, a warm personality, a keen sense of humor and she cares deeply for the girls in her charge. It took me a while but I finally realized that Madre Rosario reminded me a bit of my Mother. I like to think that my Mother found in Madre Rosario the perfect host to watch after and protect my precious M.

I’ll spare you my words in describing the Hogar. The linked video clip below does an excellent job of describing the place and the mission and M’s duties as a Lay Missionary volunteer. There is also a wonderful message from Madre Rosario about the importance of the volunteers to the overall development of the Hogar girls that goes well beyond their daily love and care chores.

Click the play button on the video link below for a virtual trip to Montero, Bolivia and see what it is like at Hogar Sagrado Corazón.

   

Site Profile - Hogar Sagrado Corazón from Salesian Lay Missioners

As we arrived at the Hogar we were welcomed by a group of fifteen or so children who came running to greet M and her expected guests. We then were graciously hugged by many of the children. They were mostly long, tight, lingering hugs that afforded much time to imagine parental love and child innocence held captive by circumstance. Above the Hogar entrance was a hand crafted collage of a family (all in dresses) and the words “Bien Venidos Sr: Mike y Denise”.

It was heartwarming to see how M interacted with all of the girls of all ages. They seem to have gained a mutual acceptance and respect in the past nine months. And although it is generally understood that volunteers come and go, it is evident that this does not seem to be at the forefront of the girls' or volunteers' minds. They accept each other on these temporary terms and the girls seem to respect the fact that the volunteers are giving so freely of their time, talents, love, attention and respect.

Our days were spent following around on M’s normal routine, or as “normal” as can be expected when the oddity of guests who happen to be parents are thrust into the mix of Hogar life. Our presence was generally quite noticeable but we were continuously made to feel welcome. We frequently attracted a group of tag-along children with questioning stares, eager for hugging and hand holding - ever seeking adult care and interaction.

As time passed we began to understand the gravity of M's job here. There are so many children with so many unfulfiled needs. The Madres and volunteers, and indeed the rare parental guests are in short supply and constant demand. And this celebrity status was great fun for the short time we were there but I imagine that eventually this energy drain would take its toll. Plus guests can stroll in, expend a bunch of energy having fun with the girls and leave. The future work and discipline fall back on the Madre and volunteers - much like a visiting grandparent or favorite uncle. Looking back, perhaps this was not the most equitable position for us as parents to have heaped upon our daughter M.

We saw M’s bedroom in the Hogar and the volunteer’s kitchen where she prepares the few meals that are not otherwise taken with the girls. These two places are also a bit of a resting zone. They are the two places in M’s busy life where the girls are not allowed free passage. This is a small but necessary expectation of personal space and time. Dutifully the tag-along girls would always stop at the door and respect the privacy of the kitchen and bedroom.

Sunday was the American observance of Mother’s Day and the Missionaries baked cookies for Denise - everyone's surrogate Mother for the occasion. Fortunately for us Mother's are good about sharing. M and Denise felt particularly privileged to spend this day together considering the distance they've kept since M's departure on mission. Spending this Mother's Day at the Hogar served as an all to poignant reminder of the important role a mother plays in a childs life. And on this special morning we went to Mass with the Hogar children. (Click here to link M's Mothers Day post)

Per their normal Sunday ritual, we gathered inside the Hogar gate with the missionaries and children and waited for all to arrive. Denise and I, as well as the missionaries soon found our hands filled by little fingers eager to capture a parental hand to squeeze on the walk through Montero to Mass. The Church is about three-quarters of a mile away. It was a sunshiny morning, perhaps 75-degrees, and our pace was slowed by the short little legs of our captors. I had not held a little hand for so long in a very long time. It felt great and I wonder who cherished the moments more, me or my little companion Ofelia - the youngest of three sisters at the Hogar.

We were surprised several times with fresh fruit or fresh squeezed juices or snacks when we would arrive for some task in the Hogar. The custom of attentive hospitality by host to guest seems to thrive in Bolivia - or at least at the Hogar. The kindness and thoughtful attention we received from the Madres and girls’ was incredible. We were graciously afforded many luxuries that they seldom, if ever, can have for themselves.

We took dinner (noontime) with the girls on a couple of occasions. I was amazed at the organization and discipline that was apparent at meal time. A bell would sound to signal the girls to assemble at the door of the cafeteria. On our first dinner Denise and I were told to stand toward the back of the foyer away from the gathering children. M and the other Hogar missionary and Madre Christina stood at the front of the room, their backs to the closed cafeteria doors. Once the children were generally lined up in five or six parallel lines, M walked down each row, her hand outstretched awaiting a smear of chewing gum from any lucky child who might have had that luxury today. I remember this event as one of many transformations noticed in our young daughter on this trip.

Then there was silence as Madre Christina spoke. She told a short biblical story and then to our surprise, Madre Christina held up her arms and all of the children turned around to face us. Then their little voices sang a most wonderful welcome song to us, their guests. I’ll always treasure that moment as I will many others on this trip. Then Madre Christina said a short prayer and after a chorus of Amen, the doors opened and all the children filed in and assumed their usual seats at large tables.

At each table were large serving bowls of food – the plates were empty. Once it was evident that everyone had found their seat, the silent children all slid out their chairs and stood. Then they recited a mealtime prayer, sat back down and began to serve themselves their dinner. At this point it began to sound much more like a normal school time cafeteria – except in Spanish. Remarkably the reliability of daily meals is one of many "luxuries" that these girls enjoy at the Hogar that they might never have gotten at home.   

We toured the garden where they grow some of the vegetables eaten at the Hogar. And we saw the hens and ducks that provide some of the weekly (usually on Sunday) protein. We also saw the pile of feathers left presumably from our dinner the day before. And we saw the rooster who is responsible for waking the girls for 5:00 chores. The Hogar is also home to a turkey, an emu, several large tortoises, cats, several parrots and a bunch of parakeets. We saw several lizards – one of which has made his home in M’s bedroom wardrobe. But we failed to see any of the tarantulas who live in lairs throughout the Hogar.

And we saw the kennel where they house four German Shepard guard dogs. We were told that these dogs have been specially trained to tolerate the torments of little girls but will attack men without provocation. These guard dogs spend their days asleep in the kennel and are released to freely roam the Hogar grounds at night. Although these dogs appeared perfectly harmless to me, I did not test this security system as we were always safely away at Santa Clara, the Convent’s guest house, by nightfall.

We spent several hours in the library playing games, puzzles and coloring. Interestingly the mood of the room was fun, busy and relatively quiet. The quiet was unexpected. True, we were technically in a library and the language barrier rendered most conversation (with Denise and me) futile. But these were 6 to 10 year old children who were voluntarily present during their free time. I suspect that this is a result of their respect for M and her enforcement of library rules of conduct (no hitting, must have showered, etc.). And maybe this was also due in part to M’s description of the girls’ en masse acting on their best behavior during our entire visit. In any case, these Hogar girls seem to know right from wrong, good from bad and respect from disrespect despite their personal circumstances and this is certainly a reflection of the good example led by the Madres and volunteers.

My favorite library pass time was coloring and the girls and I devised a game of sorts to bridge our lack of meaningful verbal communication. With each color change, I would hold up the crayon and the girls would say the color name in Spanish and expect me to try and mimic their word pronunciation. And I would do the same for them in English. They were intrigued to hear and attempt the English language and politely snickered at my lame attempts at Spanish. I found it curious that with each successive failed attempt to mimic their Spanish words, the girls would repeat the word but louder and closer to my ears. Apparently it’s a universal truth that increased volume heightens ones understanding of an unknown language.
 

One afternoon we played with the preschool children on the playground. Their favorite things were being pushed on the swing by Denise and climbing on my back for a quick bumpy ride across the playground and through the hanging clothes on the drying lines. This was fun for me too except that it was about 90 degrees and sunny and there was a seemingly never-ending line of riders. Finally, I wriggled out from under a rider and withdrew to a seat in the shade. I was quickly joined by Lulu, a sweet little girl maybe 2 or 3 years old. We were sitting there both quiet and content for a while when M approached. When she asked Lulu what the two of us were doing there in the shade her response was “hacer caca!” (making poop!). M giggled and translated this for me and scooped Lulu up heading for a quick diaper change. Sometimes I forget how fun children are.      

We toured the girls' dormitories which were suprisingly tidy. The discipline and order of the Hogar was evident everywhere. We saw the kitchen where some of the girls are assigned on a rotating basis to help out. We pased the laundry room where all girls 5 and older are expected to do their own laundry. The room consists of rows of wash sinks with integral washboards. The cloths are washed and then hung on a clothesline to dry. They are then responsible to fetch and properly stow their clean items before they are "acquired" by someone else. There is definitely a survivalist mentality at the Hogar.

Perhaps the most touching moment that I recall was when M asked Denise to present little Andrea with a package sent by her Madrena. But let's back up for a minute...

A "Madrena" is a Godparent or sponsorship family for the girls. Having a Madrena is a crutial element in these girls' lives. It is proof of an outside source of compassion - having someone who cares about them. A person or family can enter the Marena program and sponsor a child for US$35 per year through the age of 18. And 100 percent of this money goes directly toward the benefit of a specific girl at the Hogar. It is used at the request of the girl and upon the approval of the Hogar staff. Mostly it goes toward school supplies, special clothing, or builds in savings until they are 18 and move from the Hogar to begin collage or seek employment and independent shelter.

The added benefit of a Madrena is in knowing that there is someone somewhere who cares about the girl as an individual. And periodically Madrenas will send small packages for birthday or special occasion or just because they are thinking of the girls. And for the few dollars and minimal effort that this takes, the Madrena makes a monumental impact on the life of their sponsored child. Unfortunately there are still girls entering the Hogar who are in need of a Madrena. If you would like more information on the Madrena program at Hogar Sagrado Corazón please let me know. There is a definie need and the affects are very real.

Anyway, Andrea's new Madrena family is Denise's sister and her family in Omaha. And they had sent Andrea a small package contaiing a few treats, a couple of small toys and some clothing items. It arrived just before Denise and I and M thought that Andrea would apreciate the conection of receiving her package from her Madrena's sister. Suddenly her Madrena might feel closer. As Andrea and a group of friends were playing nearby, M called to her and asked her to come closer. She introduced Andrea to Denise, explained that she was M's mother and was also the sister of Andrea's Madrena.

Denise then presented Andrea with a package and M explained that this was from her Madrena family. Wide-eyed she held out her eager arms and clutched the precious package sent (and received) with love. She stared at it for a long while and listened as M read and translated) the accompanying card and written message. Then with a gathering crowd of onlookers, Andrea carefully opened the package and examined the contents. Later she gathered her new treasures back into her box and walked away with several friends trailing behind. M explained that she would probably walk around most of the day with the box. Then she would probably hide a few thngs away in her pillow case for safekeeping.

M said that the receipt of a card or letter with a stick of gum or photograph is just as precious to the girls. She has seen girls carry envelopes from Madrenas around for days, petting them like they are alive with needed love and attention...and hope.

I trust that God will watch over these children and keep them safe. And I hope that in some small way, our time together has made a difference in each of us.

Click here for more pictures of our time with M at Hogar Sagrado Corazón.